i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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