Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
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