Dual....:-)
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
