she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I didn't notice because vodka
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
