Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
