Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
