i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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