I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
