Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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