Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
