Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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