You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
