dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
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