i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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