fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Randomize
