tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
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