Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
