like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
then he tried to convert me to islam
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
