We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
