It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
