yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Randomize
