What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
