How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize