After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
