Cold hands, warm shart.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
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