I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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