We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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