real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize