are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
