Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
