I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize