who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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