Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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