do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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