Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
