I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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