How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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