Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
