Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
lets start a swedish sibling band together
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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