16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
