are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
So many bounce houses so little time
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
