i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
