wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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