I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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