I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
What drink are we having for lunch?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
