That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
