I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
