Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
