At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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