I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
