I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
