Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I cockslap morals
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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