You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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