oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Randomize
