dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
