So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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