hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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