i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
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